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But even as they purged, Dennis kept buying one thing that drove Ellen crazy. They tossed old sporting equipment, rusted beach chairs and a bike rack for a car they no longer owned.

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“When I work with couples together, I have a conversation about what is their goal, why they are reaching out and what is bothering them,” says Kathy Vines, a professional organizer who founded Clever Girl Organizing in Melrose, Mass.Īmong Vines’s clients are Ellen and Dennis Steward, who for five years have been working together on clearing their basement, garage and storage room. It might be an organizer or a therapist,” says Danielle Tanner Liu, a professional organizer and productivity consultant at Totally Orderly in Oregon. “If the difference in a couple’s tolerance for clutter and stuff is impacting their health or finances or relationship, that’s often why they get outside help. So what happens when a pack rat ends up with a minimalist? Sometimes it means calling in the pros to help them find a compromise, or at the very least, learn to respect one another’s needs. “The awareness of the amount of things that couples have definitely increased in the first six months of the pandemic when everyone was home,” Lyons-Porter says. Anyone irritated by crammed closets and littered kitchen counters was on emotional overdrive as households sheltered additional family members (and their possessions) and stockpiled flour and toilet paper. While some couples saw this as a time to finally dump massive amounts of stuff, plenty of others did not. Stay-at-home orders last year propelled America’s obsession with decluttering and organizing into a new galaxy, as people had no choice but to confront their - or their partner’s - possessions. The pandemic has only highlighted these differences.

“It’s rare that my clients have the same thought process, emotions and vision about the things that they own,” says professional organizer Tanisha Lyons-Porter of Natural Born Organizers in Los Angeles.

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Others keep surfaces and storage spaces free of clutter, constantly pack bags of donations and give the side-eye to their partner’s overflowing shoe rack. Some people are sentimental about old birthday cards, CDs or faded Burning Man T-shirts. Ashley and Will are one of many couples in “mixed” relationships: One person is comfortable with having a lot of stuff around, the other isn’t.